“So were your ancestors murderers or thieves?” While being introduced to someone at a party. I wonder if his ancestors were slave traders or Nazi collaboraters?

“If you are going to say his name at LEAST try and say it correctly, you sound ridiculous.” I was interrupted mid-sentence while trying to tell a funny story. Tough crowd.

“I heard Australians don’t clean their houses because the weather is nice” Interesting logic.

“So do you always come to parties and not speak to anyone” Yes, it’s my favorite pastime.

“Don’t get too comfortable, first in is also first out” when I told them about my permanent contract

“Do you speak Dutch yet?” said to me in Dutch on my 1st day (and tragically a serious question). A shame she didn’t speak human.

“Your hair is better now, you must never be blonde again as you looked terrible”. Well it couldn’t have been worse than that home dyed unnatural red that she has.

“How can you justify the aboriginal situation in Australia” light dinner party conversation with a De Telegraaf reading stranger

“When are you going to buy some furniture for your house, your house is cold and empty”. Thanks for the feedback. When are you going to throw out that mountain of old crap in yours?

“Do they have bikes in Australia” No, we ride our pet Kangaroos

“Perhaps you should try recreational volleyball, our team is full” After trying out for some spazo ladies volleyball team (Division Z or so), when the organiser had told me they needed players.

“You see Susan, Dutch women are emancipated and actually work, unlike women in Australia” What the….???? Naturally said by a woman who works 3 days a week, is financially dependent on her boyfriend and has an (unresearched) opinion on everything.

and finally the quote to top all quotes. Picture it, I’m away from my family at Christmas for the first time ever. The network is busy and my parents can’t get through to me by phone, I stare a bit pathetically out of the window and hear

“Well, you know what they say Susan, out of sight is out of heart!”